Money has a big role in our society; we can’t do much, or get far without money. Money is valuable whether it’s in a pocket, bank account, stocks, or any other means of keeping money. In today’s society, money is backed by public faith in the government and the banking system. We have to believe that our money is being handled in the proper manner. If not, then we would all revert to the cliche of hiding our cash under the mattress. I don’t claim to be an expert on how banks handle money, or the economy. In fact, I used to believe that we either have money, or we don’t. However, after being introduced to this assignment, the Yap Fei, US gold, French francs, Brazilian cruzeros, and debit accounts are much familiar concepts. I’ve even learned why money is backed by faith. No one sees their money being transferred between banks or on the web. When we get paid, we aren’t handed cash, we don’t receive a physical check (at least most of us nowadays), the money’s all directly transferred to an account. We all trust that the numbers on a screen mean we have money, despite there being no proof that any of transferring or moving of physical money happened.
One thought on “Enough about you- jokerthefool”
You’ve eliminated the 2nd person language, Joker, which makes this draft successful in its first goal. You did introduce some 1st person singular language (I), which would also be banned from academic writing (but not from newspaper OpEd columns, for example), so you’ve traded one problem for another there. You have one disagreement in number between No one (singular) and their (plural), which is illegal grammar nobody but me seems to care much about. If you want to revise this and put it back into Feedback Please, I’d be happy to see how many other ways you could improve the paragraph.