I could use some help getting started, and in general.

As more people are involved in any sort of situation, more options and conflicts arise. The true way to bring up as little conflicts as possible would be through leaving decision making to one person. However, in the situation of child rearing, having only one adult involved in the process is overwhelming and tends to result in growing pains and deteriorating mental health of the parent. However, as the amount of people increase, the amount of conflicts and disagreements increase. Thus, the process should be as limited as possible to as little people as possible. Thus, child rearing should be limited to two people in a contemporary American society.

Effects of marital conflict on children: recent advances and emerging themes in process‐oriented research

7 thoughts on “Causal–Thokeca”

  1. Grammar Note.
    I don’t usually comment on grammar in a first draft because I expect little of the original material to survive through the revision process, but you’ll need to get a handle on count and noncount nouns in the next few weeks, Thokeca.

    The true way to bring up [as LITTLE CONFLICT] [or as FEW CONFLICTS] as possible would be to leave decision making to one person.
    Thus, the process should be as limited as possible to [AS FEW PEOPLE] as possible.


  2. Now to the content.

    Your argument certainly sounds sound. Children are better reared when the adults who rear them adopt a conflict-free approach to raising them. There must be oodles of research that blames bad childhood development on marital conflict.

    I’m not sure the source you’ve selected actually accomplishes that. Not having read it myself yet, I’m not in a strong position to say so, but it sounds like a study of other studies that doesn’t so much cite research results as compare study types. But you would know better what it will help you prove. (Should I go to your White Paper for your description of its value?)

    And while I’m raising questions, is it naturally the case that two parents with different parenting styles are detrimental to a child’s development? Maybe one overprotective and one more permissive parent is the perfect balance, keeping the children safe but providing enough outlets for their explorative instincts so that they don’t grow up stifled and tentative. Again, your research will be superior to my mere instincts.

    As for the other component of your argument, The Psychology of Bargaining and Negotiation should be a goldmine of insight into the many ways three people can conflict to mess things up.

    Have you laid your hands on this source? It’s a book the Campbell Library apparently has, but that means you’ll have to grab it before anyone else checks it out.

    I suspect, though I don’t know for sure, that the problem you’re experiencing not knowing where to start comes down to a lack of research. If you’d been studying several sources for information, you’d have a better idea how to spend 1000 words describing the causes of conflict in child-rearing situations.

    If I’m wrong, please correct me, and share with me in a revised paragraph the insights from your sources. So far, we seem to be swapping best guesses about how kids get raised.

    This is always a conversation, Thokeca. Your reactions, please?


    1. You are right, I do need more sources. Unfortunately, my past couple of weeks have not been well spent due to outside circumstances. It hadn’t occurred to me that I need more research until I came across this comment, but I fear I don’t have the time to get that research in before it’s due. I did skim through the source that I listed briefly to see if it had the information I needed, but based on the title I can understand why I had trouble processing the information I read, which basically boiled down to the fact that it’s a study about studies- not specifically about the children. If I look with more time, I’ll be sure to have a better source.

      That source also was not in my white paper, but I felt as if I should have a source listing the effects of conflict on a child, which was not among one of the included in my white paper.

      You’re very right in that I need more research, and I agree I do. But I think I’ve been having trouble with my technique and how to find the correct sources, as even a quick scour on google scholar did not give me the results I wanted.


  3. You’re not permitted to panic, Thokeca. I won’t permit it. And deadlines are for saps. So listen, I need you to buckle down if you’re really back in earnest and get yourself some real evidence for the perfectly reasonable claims we agreed you could make many weeks ago.

    That was tough love.

    You need to succeed, Th, and I want you to succeed. I can’t do your research and I can’t write your paper, but I can offer endless advice and raise countless questions and guide you ONCE YOU START. You haven’t started.

    So forget about the deadline, but keep in mind another one is coming, and start READING in your subject matter. You get nothing done THINKING about your topic. Thinking doesn’t help you prove anything.

    Now. Right now. Tell me what you think you want to prove and I will find you a strong academic source that will get you started. After that, you’ll have to ask me specific questions, not tell me you don’t know what to do.

    More tough love there.

    Ready? Go!


    1. Alright. I want to prove the effects of parental conflict on a child’s development. I know I could easily find a source through that, but it’s proving to be more difficult than I thought it’d be, which may be a result of poor phrasing. I suppose that’s my main issue, poor phrasing, especially when I’m already having a tough time due to outside sources.

      I apologize if this is a bit of a mess. I signed up for a conference again not long from now so hopefully I can sort more of this out by then.


      1. Now we’re talking. Thank you. And you’re welcome. Now let’s get started.

        1. You might not actually WANT a source that demonstrates the effect of parental conflict on a child’s development for the good reason that if something’s been proved before you get to the topic, you might have little left to say besides: Yeah. Look at that paper! They sure got that right!

        2. But I accept the challenge.

        If I find something useful I’ll share the link and the phrasing I used to conduct my search.


  4. “troubled children” “dysfunctional families”
    yielded these first-page results:
    Intervening with families of troubled youth: functional family therapy and parenting wisely
    (Chapter 7 of a book with a very different title)

    and also:
    Attentional problems in dysfunctional mother-child interactions: An interbehavioral model.”

    “troubled children” “disputed custody”
    yielded this fascinating study, which, though not perfectly relevant, is a the fascinating story of the first child to divorce his parents for neglect and stupidity.
    Through the Eyes of a Child

    and also:
    While it’s not specifically about three-or-more parent families, it has fascinating information in its first chapter about the adjustments kids have to make to new involvement of the state, of step-parents, of outsiders in general on their upbringing
    Marriage Divorce and Childhood Adjustment

    and also:
    For Kids’ Sake

    Yeah, it’s about Australia, but it’s an awesome resource. Just look at this:

    This Report demonstrates from a large body of research evidence, that there has been a very serious deterioration in the wellbeing of children and young people in Australia in the last ten-fifteen years. The speed of that deterioration is startling. The most serious concerns relate to the wellbeing of adolescents, particularly teenage girls. There are multiple reasons for these adverse trends, but a major cause is likely to be the substantial increase in family conflict and family breakdown over the last 30 years. In Australia, the likelihood that a child will not be living with both biological parents by the age of 15 has almost doubled within a generation. This is for two reasons. First, many more children are now being born into single mother families, and secondly, there has been a substantial increase in cohabiting couples having children. The odds of such cohabiting relationships breaking up are many times higher than for married couples. Children are affected both by family conflict and parental separation. They are indeed connected, because conflict between parents does not end on separation. Family breakdown also exposes children to an increased risk of child abuse, for example perpetrated by new male partners of the mother.

    Now, if you insist on finding sources that PROVE the effects of MULTIPLE, SAME-TIME, TRIPLE-PARENT families on their children, you can spend forever searching for something that makes your work irrelevant.

    Or, you can put together a compelling argument from the effects of various types of home conflict on child development, combine that with some conflict resolution science, and prove your own thesis about the devastating effects of too many voices in a child’s rearing.

    Was that helpful?


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