Robust Verbs — Wisemann101

Original Paragraph:

There is a huge problem in Vancouver with heroin addicts committing crimes to support their habits. The “free heroin for addicts” program is doing everything they can to stop the addicts. The problem is that there is a large crime rate due to the addicts. It is obvious that addicts have a hard time getting through their day to day lives. Daily activities such as jobs, interactions, and relationships are hard to maintain because of the fact that they are using. By heroin users being addicted, they will do whatever they have to do to get their hands on the drug. The types of crimes committed are those of breaking and entering as well as stealing. There are no limits to where they will go to retrieve this drug so that they can feed their addiction. The problem with this program is that it won’t help to ween these addicts off using heroin. It is only trying to save the city from rising crime rates that they’re up to. By providing the drug, these addicts will be off the streets, which in turn will prevent them from committing minor street crimes. This will also keep the heroin users out of the hospital. It is pointless that the hospitals have to deal with people that want to use bad drugs or unsanitary needles and find themselves being unable to afford hospital bills and hard to cope without the drug. This program gives people free heroin in the cleanest way possible. This will in turn fix the city  but not the addiction that these people face.

Revised Paragraph:

Heroin becomes a negative ultimate in Vancouver. The crime rate within the city increases, so as heroin addicts to crime ratio. The number one priority for heroin addicts is the fuel their addiction and they accomplish that by committing crimes. There is a program called ” free heroin for addicts” that provides free dosages for addicts. The objectives of the program is to limit the number of addicts in the hospitals. For some, the negative part is that this program does not cure but keeps addicts to be addicted.

Enough About You-Chemia

Original paragraph:

Money seems to have a big role in our society; you can’t do much or get far if you don’t have any. Money is valuable in different ways, even when you don’t see it physically. In today’s society you must have faith in the government and in the banking system that your money is being handled in the proper manner; if not, then you would have to hide all of your money under your mattress or around your house. I have no clue what happens in the banks, or how they take care of your money. I always thought money was simple; you either have some or you don’t—that’s it. However, being introduced to this assignment, the Yap Fei, US gold, French francs, Brazilian cruzeros, and debit accounts now seem similar. You don’t actually see your money being transferred. When you get paid, you aren’t handed cash, you don’t receive a physical check, the money’s all directly transferred to your bank account, and you just have to trust that you got more money.

Revision

Money seems to have a big role in our society; we cannot do much without it. Even when it is physically unavailable, money is still valuable. In today’s society, we rely on the government and the banking system to handle our money. Otherwise, our money would have to be hidden under a mattress or other particular places at home. It is uncertain for us to know how our money is managed in banks or if it is safe there. I used to perceive the nature of money as simple; some people have money while others do not. Being introduced to this assignment, the Yap Fei, US gold, French francs, Brazilian cruzeros, and debit accounts now seem similar. When we get paid, money is directly transferred into our bank accounts instead of receiving cash or physical checks. The electronic transfer of our money is a procedure that forces us to have faith in it.

Enough About You – misterfries19

Money seems to have a big role in our society; It’s hard to do anything or get anywhere without any. Money is valuable in different ways, even if it’s not visible dollars. In today’s society, proper financial security comes down to Americans having faith in the government and in the banking system;  if they didn’t, then everybody’s mattress would be a huge liability. The banking system is very complex, and it would take someone within the system to truly explain what happens to the average American dollar. Money isn’t as simple as it once seemed; some people have it, and some don’t, surely. However, being introduced to this assignment, the Yap Fei, US gold, French francs, Brazilian cruzeros, and debit accounts now seem similar. Nobody actually sees their money get transferred from one account to the next. To get paid in America does not mean to be given a check or a lump-sum of cash after work. To get paid in America is to not get screwed over by a system that is too complex to understand.

Enough about you- Dirtyjerz065

  • Money seems to have a big role in our society; you can’t do much or get far if you don’t have any. Money is valuable in different ways, even when you don’t see it physically. In today’s society you must have faith in the government and in the banking system that your money is being handled in the proper manner; if not, then you would have to hide all of your money under your mattress or around your house. I have no clue what happens in the banks, or how they take care of your money. I always thought money was simple; you either have some or you don’t—that’s it. However, being introduced to this assignment, the Yap Fei, US gold, French francs, Brazilian cruzeros, and debit accounts now seem similar. You don’t actually see your money being transferred. When you get paid, you aren’t handed cash, you don’t receive a physical check, the money’s all directly transferred to your bank account, and you just have to trust that you got more money.
  • Revised: Money seems to have a big role in our society: we cannot do much in life without it. Money is valuable in many different ways, it may not always be physically. In today’s society we must have faith in the government and in the banking system that our money is being handled properly; if not then we would have to hide all of our money under our mattress or around the house. I have no clue what happens in banks or how they take care of our money. I always thought money was simple; we either have some or none at all. However, being introduced to this assignment, the Yap Fei, US gold, French francs, Brazilian cruzeros, and debit accounts now seem similar. We never actually see the money being transferred, we never physically receive cash or a check on pay day. The money’s all directly transferred to our bank accounts, and we just have to trust that we got more money when we are supposed to.

But Enough About You- beachgirl04

  • Money seems to have a big role in our society; you can’t do much or get far if you don’t have any. Money is valuable in different ways, even when you don’t see it physically. In today’s society you must have faith in the government and in the banking system that your money is being handled in the proper manner; if not, then you would have to hide all of your money under your mattress or around your house. I have no clue what happens in the banks, or how they take care of your money. I always thought money was simple; you either have some or you don’t—that’s it. However, being introduced to this assignment, the Yap Fei, US gold, French francs, Brazilian cruzeros, and debit accounts now seem similar. You don’t actually see your money being transferred. When you get paid, you aren’t handed cash, you don’t receive a physical check, the money’s all directly transferred to your bank account, and you just have to trust that you got more money.
  • Revised: Money seems to have a big role in our society: we cannot do much in life without it. Money is valuable in many different ways, it may not always be physically. In today’s society we must have faith in the government and in the banking system that our money is being handled properly; if not then we would have to hide all of our money under our mattress or around the house. I have no clue what happens in banks or how they take care of our money. I always thought money was simple; we either have some or none at all. However, being introduced to this assignment, the Yap Fei, US gold, French francs, Brazilian cruzeros, and debit accounts now seem similar. We never actually see the money being transferred, we never physically receive cash or a check on pay day. The money’s all directly transferred to our bank accounts, and we just have to trust that we got more money when we are supposed to.

Enough About You – WaywardSundial

Original

Money seems to have a big role in our society; you can’t do much or get far if you don’t have any. Money is valuable in different ways, even when you don’t see it physically. In today’s society you must have faith in the government and in the banking system that your money is being handled in the proper manner; if not, then you would have to hide all of your money under your mattress or around your house. I have no clue what happens in the banks, or how they take care of your money. I always thought money was simple; you either have some or you don’t—that’s it. However, being introduced to this assignment, the Yap Fei, US gold, French francs, Brazilian cruzeros, and debit accounts now seem similar. You don’t actually see your money being transferred. When you get paid, you aren’t handed cash, you don’t receive a physical check, the money’s all directly transferred to your bank account, and you just have to trust that you got more money.

Revision

Money seems to have a big role in our society; one cannot do much in life without it. Money is valuable in different ways, even though it is not always physical in form. In today’s society there must be faith in the government that the peoples money would be safe; if not, then the act of stashing money would be the most viable way to go about things. I have no clue what happens in the banks, or how they take care of money. I always thought money was simple; people have money or they don’t—that’s it. However, being introduced to this assignment, the Yap Fei, US gold, French francs, Brazilian cruzeros, and debit accounts now seem similar.The depositor doesn’t ever see the money being deposited. When employees are paid, they receive a paper check that can be cashed out to ones bank account, all the while no physical money being seen.

Enough about you- wildwood

Money seems to have a big role in our society; we as a society can’t do much or get far if money is not present. Money is valuable in different ways, even when we don’t see it physically. In today’s society we must have faith in the government and in the banking system that our money is being handled in the proper manner; if not, then they would have to hide all of the money under the mattress or around the house. I have no clue what happens in the banks, or how they take care of our money. I always thought money was simple; we either have some or you don’t—that’s it. However, being introduced to this assignment, the Yap Fei, US gold, French francs, Brazilian cruzeros, and debit accounts now seem similar. Someone doesn’t actually see the money being transferred. When someone get paid, they aren’t handed cash, they didn’t receive a physical check, the money’s all directly transferred to someone’s bank account, and they just have to trust that they got more money.