Robust Verbs- p1nk123456

  1. There is a huge problem in Vancouver with heroin addicts rob homes, mugging residents, and breaking into cars to support their habits.

Problem: The sentence starts with there is.

Fix: Revise the sentence

The problem with heroin addicts in Vancouver is that they commit crimes at a high rate since they will do anything to support their habits.

2. The “free heroin for addicts” program is doing everything they can to stop the addicts. The problem is that there is a large crime rate due to the addicts.

Problem: This sentence should come later since the first sentence was not expanded upon and it doesn’t flow with the next sentence.

Fix: Take it out and move it towards the end of the paragraph.

3. It is obvious that addicts have a hard time getting through their day to day lives. Daily activities such as jobs, interactions, and relationships are hard to maintain because of the fact that they are using. By heroin users being addicted, they will do whatever they have to do to get their hands on the drug. The types of crimes committed are those of breaking and entering as well as stealing. There are no limits to where they will go to retrieve this drug so that they can feed their addiction.

Problem: These sentences need to be streamlined and revised. They are repetitive.

Fix: Name the problems that heroin addicts have.

Maintaining a job, normal social interactions, and relationships are hard to preserve because they are using drugs.

4. The problem with this program is that it won’t help to ween these addicts off using heroin. It is only trying to save the city from rising crime rates that they’re up to. By providing the drug, these addicts will be off the streets, which in turn will prevent them from committing minor street crimes. This will also keep the heroin users out of the hospital. It is pointless that the hospitals have to deal with people that want to use bad drugs or unsanitary needles and find themselves being unable to afford hospital bills and hard to cope without the drug. This program gives people free heroin in the cleanest way possible.

Problem:  Needs to be streamlined. The idea of the program was brought up too early, so these sentences should be where the program is introduced. There are quite a few points made here about the program.

Fix: Change this to where the program needs to be mentioned.

The “free heroin for addicts” program tries to reduce the rate of crimes by offering heroin users the cleanest drugs possible. Providing drugs will keep heroin addicts off the streets, which will prevent them from committing minor street crimes, and keeps them away from hospitals where they acquire bills that they cannot afford.

5. This will in turn fix the city  but not the addiction that these people face.

Problem: This last sentence is actually okay, it just needs a comma and clarification.

Fix: Add a comma after but, clarify what “this” is, and state who “these people” are.

The “free heroin for addicts” program will hopefully reduce the rate of crimes in Vancouver, but not the addiction of heroin addicts.

 

There is a huge problem in Vancouver with heroin addicts rob homes, mugging residents, and breaking into cars to support their habits. Maintaining a job, normal social interactions, and relationships are hard to preserve because they are using drugs. The “free heroin for addicts” program tries to reduce the rate of crimes by offering heroin users the cleanest drugs possible. Providing drugs will keep heroin addicts off the streets, which will prevent them from committing minor street crimes, and keeps them away from hospitals where they acquire bills that they cannot afford.

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