Draft Causal Argument Prof-2020

9/11 Made America More Racist

It seems that racism has been around since before the dawn of time itself. It has thrived in the best and worst of times and in every corner of the earth, doing particularly well in the United States of America. America’s relationship with racism has been a very long one and it’s still going strong. As if the situation hadn’t been dire enough, then the twin towers in New York City were attacked in an act of terrorism more horrific and devastating than the world had ever known. Whether or not the 9/11 hijackers understood the consequences of their actions is irrelevant. The after-effects rippled outwards and caused further damage more than what anyone could have expected. Fifteen years later, Americans are still dealing with the repercussions of one man’s decision to attack the United States. 9/11 shocked and terrified the world. That day set a new precedent for the future of public safety all over the globe. The TSA was exploding with new rules and restrictions on who and what can be on a plane. Americans become even more wary of anyone who didn’t look like them. The media turned the situation into a joke. Tabloids were printing new conspiracy theories everyday while shows like “South Park” and “Family Guy” turned the whole ordeal and those behind the attacks into a punchline. The saddest part is that we had an opportunity to make a comeback. It would have been one of the most difficult things our country had ever done and would have further changed the world forever but we failed to take advantage of our opportunity to find good in the situation. We’ve let the 9/11 attacks define our foreign policies, world relations and even how America functions domestically. Furthermore it’s changed how we relate to others. Our culture had never been particularly welcoming to new elements but more now than ever, we bristle at the idea of welcoming anyone or anything we’re not immediately familiar with. In recent years this reaction has softened, especially with younger generations rising up and becoming more politically aware but the majority of America still holds deeply rooted emotions against anything related to the 9/11 hijackings. The ripple effects of the attacks still continue outward even today. Presidential nominee Donald J. Trump made it a main point in his campaign to assure Americans that he’d place restrictions on allowing muslims to enter our country. Regardless of whether or not his prejudice stems from the attacks, many his voters share this sentiment because of the events of 9/11.

Citations
Rose, S. (2013, September 12). Since 9/11, Racism and Islamophobia Remain Intertwined. Retrieved November 04, 2016, from http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/steve-rose/911-racism-islamophobia_b_3908411.html

Poladian, C. (2015, September 11). The United States After 9/11: 6 Things That Have Changed Since 2001. Retrieved November 09, 2016, from http://www.ibtimes.com/pulse/united-states-after-911-6-things-have-changed-2001-2093156

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davidbdale

Inventor of and sole practitioner of 299-word Very Short Novels. www.davidbdale.wordpress.com

13 thoughts on “Draft Causal Argument Prof-2020”

  1. It seems that racism has been around since before the dawn of time itself.

    Probably not, since races weren’t around at the dawn of time. If you feel the need to be dramatic, choose a claim that has some validity, Prof.

    It has thrived in the best and worst of times and in every corner of the earth, doing particularly well in the United States of America.

    Your claim has the unintended consequence of trivializing your thesis, Prof. Something that has been with us forever and will always exist lacks urgency.

    America’s relationship with racism has been a very long one and it’s still going strong.

    You’re circling a thesis here somewhere, Prof. 1) Racism is as old as time. 2) It’s common in the US. 3) Repeat: It’s common in the US. Is any of this necessary?

    As if the situation hadn’t been dire enough, then the twin towers in New York City were attacked in an act of terrorism more horrific and devastating than the world had ever known.

    It might have felt that way to New Yorkers on that day, but you were barely alive, Prof, and you didn’t survive the Russian pogroms of the early 20th century that killed millions. Just saying.

    Whether or not the 9/11 hijackers understood the consequences of their actions is irrelevant.

    It is, however, relevant that WE understand the consequences of their actions. So far you’re hinting that somehow they affected American racism. By now, if I weren’t your professor with your best interest at heart, I would have bailed on this essay. Make it go somewhere.

    The after-effects rippled outwards and caused further damage more than what anyone could have expected.

    Still teasing.

    Fifteen years later, Americans are still dealing with the repercussions of one man’s decision to attack the United States. 9/11 shocked and terrified the world.

    It did. And we are. But you promised me something I didn’t know.

    That day set a new precedent for the future of public safety all over the globe.

    You spent many sentences insisting that America is racist, then several more reminding us we were attacked 15 years ago by foreign terrorists. Now you’ve added a third wild card: public safety.

    The TSA was exploding with new rules and restrictions on who and what can be on a plane.

    What’s your timeline here, Prof? “Was exploding” before 9/11? Or was the agency empowered as a consequence of 9/11?

    Americans become even more wary of anyone who didn’t look like them.

    Let’s be clear here. The first several sentences give no indication what races you’re indicting, but the clear implication is that you’re discussing black/white racism. “Anyone who doesn’t look like an American” is an entirely different sort of prejudice. You haven’t been clear yet; this new prejudice against “foreigners,” if that’s what you’re getting at, makes your claims less clear.

    The media turned the situation into a joke.

    Hopelessly vague.

    Tabloids were printing new conspiracy theories everyday

    How is that treating the abomination as a joke?

    while shows like “South Park” and “Family Guy” turned the whole ordeal and those behind the attacks into a punchline.

    If so, an example would be extremely helpful. But even if so, you’ve shifted your position radically from “the media” to “tabloids and South Park.”

    The saddest part is that we had an opportunity to make a comeback.

    From what to what, Prof? From a racist country to a color-blind country because of a terrorist attack? From an isolationist country to one that embraced people of all nations? Is your topic racism or nationalism?

    It would have been one of the most difficult things our country had ever done and would have further changed the world forever but we failed to take advantage of our opportunity to find good in the situation.

    I admire the effort you’re making to suggest that 9/11 could have been a “learning experience” of some kind, but you’re leaving the entire argument to our imaginations.

    We’ve let the 9/11 attacks define our foreign policies, world relations and even how America functions domestically.

    If this were still your introduction, you might be forgiven for painting with broad strokes with the promise of providing details later, but these THREE MASSIVE CLAIMS are entirely unsupported. How does the legacy of 9/11 drive our foreign policy? our international relations? our domestic programs?

    Furthermore it’s changed how we relate to others.

    Other Americans? Other races?

    Our culture had never been particularly welcoming to new elements but more now than ever, we bristle at the idea of welcoming anyone or anything we’re not immediately familiar with.

    We’re actually the primary destination for Immigrants from almost every country that people emigrate from.

    In recent years this reaction has softened, especially with younger generations rising up and becoming more politically aware but the majority of America still holds deeply rooted emotions against anything related to the 9/11 hijackings.

    Which reaction has softened? The resistance to immigration or foreign visitors that existed before they were born? or the worsening of that condition that you claim resulted from 9/11?

    The ripple effects of the attacks still continue outward even today.

    Are you going to redeem the promises you made in your first sentences that America is racist?

    Presidential nominee Donald J. Trump made it a main point in his campaign to assure Americans that he’d place restrictions on allowing Muslims to enter our country.

    Not racist. Discrimination based on religious belief.

    Regardless of whether or not his prejudice stems from the attacks, many his voters share this sentiment because of the events of 9/11.

    Don’t you want to distinguish between peace-loving observant Muslims and terrorists (religious or not) who blow things up and kill people in the name of jihad?

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  2. 1. Mainstream White beauty standards caused Black people in American to chemically change their hair.
    2. White beauty standards caused Black people to chemically alter their hair for generations and develop self-hatred.
    3. Both White society and the Black people chemically altering their hair caused self-hatred.
    4. White beauty standards caused Black women to chemically alter their hair, which eventually caused self-hatred.
    5. White beauty standards did not cause Black people to chemically change their hair.

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  3. “It seems that racism has been around since before the dawn of time itself. ”

    Weak opening as it is not a good declarative statement. If the effort of this essay is going to be discussing racism being around since the dawn of time, you might be better with writing a book. Also, What do you mean by the dawn of time?

    “one man’s decision to attack the United States.”

    Was this truly the act of one man? If so, wouldn’t the death of that one man during the crash have ended any subsequent repercussions? This statement seams contradictory to the facts surrounding the incident in regards to terrorist organizations being responsible for the attack. Wasn’t there two planes? How could one man have been one both planes?

    “We’ve let the 9/11 attacks define our foreign policies, world relations and even how America functions domestically.”

    What policies were changed as a result of this incident? I want to know specifics.

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  4. “It seems that racism has been around since before the dawn of time itself.”
    This is not a good opening statement, it is not a declarative statement and this is not really true since racism has not been around since the dawn of time.
    “America’s relationship with racism has been a very long one and it’s still going strong.”
    How long has the relationship been with racism if it has been very long? How do you know it is very long?
    “Fifteen years later, Americans are still dealing with the repercussions of one man’s decision to attack the United States.”
    This is true, Americans will forever be dealing with the repercussions from 9/11 but how do you know it was just one man, was it actually just one?
    “We’ve let the 9/11 attacks define our foreign policies, world relations and even how America functions domestically.”
    Give specifics on how the attack has defined the foreign policies, what exactly has it defined

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  5. 1) The “been around since the dawn of time” comment is dramatic. Racism is serous and should be taken as such but needed a bit more of realistic analogy.
    2) “Doing particularly well in America…” is vague and needs to explain how racism is “dong well,” in this country, if that is what the writer is getting at.
    3) Even if the 9/11 hijackers understood the consequences of their actions, it deters from the main topic about racism.
    4) Racism and TSA do not necessarily correlate and can nowhere near be covered in a short piece as such.
    5) “We’ve let the 9/11 attacks define our foreign policies, world relations and even how America functions domestically.” Is an extremely broad and overwhelming sentence that is not explained anywhere in the article. Speaking in such terms requires clarification that fails to be present.
    6) No clarification when the writer stated there could have been a comeback. Comeback from what? Comeback physically from 9/11 and rebuild? Come back and not overreact with policies such as The Patriot Act and billions of taxpayer money being invested in the TSA? More clarity please.
    7) “The ripple effects of the attacks still continue outward even today. Presidential nominee Donald J. Trump made it a main point in his campaign to assure Americans that he’d place restrictions on allowing muslims to enter our country” Does not make enough of a connection and is stating that 9/11 is the direct cause behind President Trump’s travel ban some 15 years later.
    8) “Regardless of whether or not his prejudice stems from the attacks, many of his voters share this sentiment because of the events of 9/11.” Now he is stating that President Trump has a prejudice without any evidence and makes a blanket claim against Trump supporters. Most Trump supporters are prejudice because of 9/11? And now it does not matter where the prejudice comes from when the entire purpose of this writing piece is suppose to prove that 9/11 made this country racist.

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  6. “It seems that racism has been around since before the dawn of time itself.” That statement is an explosive one. I understand he/she is wants to emphasize how bad the situation when it comes to racism, but by using that statement he/she reduces the seriousness of her claim, basically it becomes a joke. Second, the author makes broad claims, with not enough specifics. The only thing specific about the whole essay was 9/11, and how it may or may not have affected the social characteristics of the United States. With that I still think it is still not specific enough.

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  7. “It seems that racism has been around since before the dawn of time itself.”

    -Not much explanation is needed on why this a weak opening; it’s evidently false. “Before the dawn of time itself.” Really? This needs to be re-stated so it can be considered a relevent opening statement, at the very least.

    “Furthermore it’s changed how we relate to others. Our culture had never been particularly welcoming to new elements but more now than ever, we bristle at the idea of welcoming anyone or anything we’re not immediately familiar with. ”

    -This deeply bothers me how often “we” is used; it’s almost offensive. Yes, after the attacks on 9/11, a majority of the country is not welcoming to any outsiders, but there are may who believe in welcoming all persons and have been advocating this, no matter what religion or race. Not tastefully written, in my opinion.

    “The saddest part is that we had an opportunity to make a comeback. It would have been one of the most difficult things our country had ever done and would have further changed the world forever but we failed to take advantage of our opportunity to find good in the situation.”

    -Searching for the “good” in the attacks of 9/11 is going to leave you empty handed. Our country responded as quickly and appropriately as they could following the hours and days to come after the attack that you could consider “good.” For example, more efficient airport security was a result, so the likes of something as terrible as that day happening are now very slim.

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  8. “It seems that racism has been around since before the dawn of time itself.”
    This seems too overdramatic for an opening sentence, and it not exactly true.

    “America’s relationship with racism has been a very long one and it’s still going strong”
    This can be worded much differently to get your point across. What do you mean by still going strong? Do you mean is still prevalent today? Or that there are more racist people in today’s world? This is very vague.

    “Fifteen years later, Americans are still dealing with the repercussions of one man’s decision to attack the United States.”
    Was it really one man who planned this attack on the U.S.? There were two planes. When dealing with any historical event or terrorist act, it is important to be as accurate as possible.

    “The saddest part is that we had an opportunity to make a comeback.”
    What exactly would this comeback be? To attack the nation or to more accepting of others in our own country? This is still vague.

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  9. “It seems that racism has been around since before the dawn of time itself.”
    This opening statement is terrible, I understand that Prof is trying to draw people in to his essay but this is not how you do it. This is not factual, this is an opinion.

    “Whether or not the 9/11 hijackers understood the consequences of their actions is irrelevant.”
    It is very relevant, the whole paper is based off of thier consequences. The hijackers understood the consequences.

    “one man’s decision to attack the United States.”
    I don’t believe that it was one man’s decision it was a whole group of people who came up with this terrible idea.

    “The saddest part is that we had an opportunity to make a comeback.”
    Prof doesn’t tell the reader what WE are coming back from, I would like to know what I as the reader had the opportunity to come back from because this isn’t clear at all.

    “The TSA was exploding with new rules and restrictions on who and what can be on a plane.”
    I am confused on why Prof is making this sound like a bad thing. The TSA made new rules and regulations to make us safer on planes to ensure something like this never happens again.

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  10. “It seems that racism has been around since before the dawn of time itself. ”
    This is not a very strong argument. It is a broad statement that many readers are most likely already informed of.

    “America’s relationship with racism has been a very long one and it’s still going strong.”
    Another weak claim. If you are going to include this sentence, be more descriptive of the relationship to show your readers the direction this statement is going towards instead of just saying it’s “a very long one”.

    “The TSA was exploding with new rules and restrictions on who and what can be on a plane.”
    You say the TSA WAS exploding with new rules, but I think it would be more effective and show the real lasting effects of this event if you said, “the TSA was, and still is, exploding with new rules…” Expand on this thought. Exactly how tight and specific are these rules? Have they proven to be more effective? Do Americans now feel safer as a result of them or are we still left with the same amount of fear as when 9/11 had just occurred?

    “Our culture had never been particularly welcoming to new elements but more now than ever, we bristle at the idea of welcoming anyone or anything we’re not immediately familiar with.” Again, an example or two of this would build up this argument. Also, what do you mean by “our culture”? Some categories, whether it be age or race, of American’s culture may be different towards welcoming new elements than the others.

    “Regardless of whether or not his prejudice stems from the attacks, many his voters share this sentiment because of the events of 9/11.” I don’t think this serves as the best closing for your argument. Don’t focus your final sentence just on Trump’s voters’ beliefs towards his statement, but rather the effect of the attacks on the country as a whole. If you are still going to include this sentence in your essay, provide some sort of backing towards the claim. How do you know that Trump’s voters also believe there should be more restrictions on allowing Muslims into the country because of 9/11?

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  11. “Americans become even more wary of anyone who didn’t look like them.”
    – There are too many races in America to classify a racist person as “american.” What does an American look like? One can be white, black, Asian, Latino, Indian, or really anything and be considered an “american.” This statement just sets up the author as being racist assuming that all Americans look the same.

    “Tabloids were printing new conspiracy theories everyday while shows like “South Park” and “Family Guy” turned the whole ordeal and those behind the attacks into a punchline.”
    – I do not see the correlation between this claim and what the author is trying to prove. I am pretty sure it doesn’t help the fact that we have become more racist, and if by chance it does, it has not been explained enough.

    “The saddest part is that we had an opportunity to make a comeback. It would have been one of the most difficult things our country had ever done and would have further changed the world forever but we failed to take advantage of our opportunity to find good in the situation.”
    – What are you talking about? Once again more explanation is needed in the context of this claim. How could we have made the comeback? Why are we making a comeback? Is this a comeback from racism? This claim is too vague and raises too many questions. Would it really have been the most difficult thing our country has done? Based on the events little to no good could be found in this situation.

    “Our culture had never been particularly welcoming to new elements but more now than ever, we bristle at the idea of welcoming anyone or anything we’re not immediately familiar with.”
    – False, this country was founded on people immigrating from all over the world. We are by far one of the most diverse countries on earth, and I believe America is made up of countless different cultures, ideas, and lifestyles. Saying we aren’t particularly welcoming to new elements is completely false, because that is what makes up this country.

    “with younger generations rising up and becoming more politically aware”
    – Much of the younger generation doesn’t remember 9/11. Politically aware might mean in a sense being less racist, but there are many politically aware citizens of older generations who aren’t racist.

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  12. “It seems that racism has been around since before the dawn of time itself.”
    -it is not an amazing opening for a topic. also it depicts in such a way that it seems dramatic.
    “America’s relationship with racism has been a very long one and it’s still going strong.”
    -How long has the relationship been with racism if it has been very long?
    -were you born at that time??
    – How do you know it is very long?
    “one man’s decision to attack the United States.”
    -was it a one man behind it or an organisation such a ISIS??
    – This statement seams contradictory to me.
    -if it was then where is the dead body of that person in the plane who was behind it??
    – and was the mastermind there in the plane that also we don’t know.
    “We’ve let the 9/11 attacks define our foreign policies, world relations and even how America functions domestically.”
    -please provide the policies in detail.
    -and does this policies has been beneficial ??
    -or is just a waste of time??
    -or has it stopped the attacks??

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  13. The author of this mentions “the ripple effects of 9/11” multiple times but never states what those effects are. I don’t even know what the point of this essay is. The title says that 9/11 made America more racist but it never explains to us how and barely mentions racism except for in the first sentence that is extremely false and just plain stupid. This essay talks more about 9/11 than it does racism. Also, I had no idea there is a debate on whether or not the high jackers knew the consequences of their actions. I think it is pretty clear that they knew exactly what they were doing and what would happen.

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