- Drugs’ effect on Music
- Drugs’ effect on musical artists and their music
- Drugs’ can have an effect on an Artist and their work.
- The effect drugs and alcohol can have on an Artist and his or her works can be drastic.
- The growing use of drugs and alcohol amongst artists in the music industry can have a strong impact on their work.
- The growing use and exploitation of drugs among artists in the Music Industry can have a profound effect on a musician’s work as well as their well being, while also providing us with insight over more widespread drug use.
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Counterintuitive 
A good start, MisterFries. Of course, I have many recommendations, questions.
1. Drugs’ effect on Music
(VERY BROAD, which is of course fine for Step 1)
2. Drugs’ effect on musical artists and their music
(Still extremely broad and not narrowing much. What drugs? Prescription drugs? Illicit drugs? Too MANY prescription drugs? And what musicians and music? Concert pianists? Bluegrass drummers? Marching bands?)
3. Drugs’ can have an effect on an Artist and their work.
(WAY TOO VAGUE. “Have an effect on” could mean “improves their creativity,” or “focuses their attention,” or “causes them to pass out on stage,” or . . . .)
4. The effect drugs and alcohol can have on an Artist and his or her works can be drastic.
(Does not significantly add value to Step 3, and still doesn’t narrow your focus.)
5. The growing use of drugs and alcohol amongst artists in the music industry can have a strong impact on their work.
(You’re really going to have to commit at some point, MisterFries. Do you mean Prince and Michael Jackson and Kurt Cobain killed themselves with drugs? Or do you mean Eminem had to get clean and sober, and Kendrick Lamar has to refrain from drugs in order to create? Or do you mean some entirely different kind of music? Also, is there any evidence that the use of drugs and alcohol among any category of artists is “growing”? And what difference would that make?) (What’s a strong impact?)
6. The growing use and exploitation of drugs among artists in the Music Industry can have a profound effect on a musician’s work as well as their well being, while also providing us with insight over more widespread drug use.
(Substitute really clear language where yours is vague. Make a truly specific claim.)
Was that harsh? Or do you understand the importance of starting with a true declaration? (Or both?)
Reply please.
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was kind of trying to keep it simple to see what you wanted
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Do you have a better idea now? 🙂
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much better
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